Holidays | On a personal note

Hello and happy Thanksgiving! All week I’ve been seeing blog posts and tweets about everything people are thankful for and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Buuuuut, the holidays make me emotional now. I cry over something I typically wouldn’t cry about which I don’t cry about much anymore, in general.

The holidays were ruined for me years ago and it’s sad, what it’s become. I’m not saying I’m not thankful or grateful; I’m so thankful for everything I have in my life.

  • I have a best friend of over 10 years who has been there for me through practically everything since I was eight years old.
  • My best friend and her parents let me move in when I couldn’t take living at home anymore; they’ve given me food when I didn’t have any, they’ve bought me clothes and shoes when I needed them, they’ve given me their love and support throughout the years, and most of all, they’ve stuck around.
  • I’m thankful that I still have my mom despite what has happened in the past few years.
  • I’m so so thankful for my dog, who I thought we were gonna lose around this time last year. She’s another best friend to me and has been here since I was six years old. Fourteen years and although she’s in pain sometimes, she’s still going strong.
  • I’m thankful for the job I have and all of my belongings that I certainly don’t need but was able to buy.

When it comes to the holidays, though, I become depressed because it’s nothing like when I was younger. Of course things change, but I never imagined it would be like this now.

I think of Thanksgiving and I just think of another day where you just eat a meal that you may not normally eat on a regular basis.

Though, when it comes to Christmas, that’s the worst of all. If I had to describe what Christmas is to me, it’s the sight of piles of snow that is so hard to walk in. It’s the sound of kids playing and adults laughing and talking from in the kitchen. It’s the smell of different perfumes and colognes blending together along with the smell of food and beer. It’s the time that you have Christmas three different times at three different houses and it doesn’t matter that it’s actually a week before or a couple days after, because you get to see the family you haven’t seen in a year and you’re all chattering and joking around by the tree with Christmas movies playing in the background. It’s when you’re all sitting around opening presents and you start talking about memories from years ago.

That’s what Christmas is to me and it makes me so upset that I’ll never have that again.

So maybe this is more about Christmas than Thanksgiving, but it’s been on my mind for a week now and it’s so good to finally have somewhere to put it down. Thank you if you’ve made it this far and thanks for just taking the time out of your day to even pay any attention at all to this post.

What do the holidays mean to you? Do you have any great memories from previous years? Is there anything special you and/or your family does to celebrate?

Again, happy Thanksgiving! ☺


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